CNN is never wrong

 

The Wit Test

 

redux: only two things scare me, and one is nuclear war. the other is macroeconomics.

If Goldfinger's plot to make all the gold in Fort Knox radioactive for fifty years had succeeded, would it really have mattered? Goldfinger made his ploy at world domination in late December 1964. Nixon took us off the Bretton Woods gold standard on August 15, 1971. That means that Goldfinger would have only had around 66 months to make his plan work. Most of us get our cars paid off quicker than that. So, let's just say it had really happened...

Ignore the historical fact that much of Fort Knox's gold had been moved to the Federal Reserve Bank of New York by 1964. Then assume the value of Goldfinger's reserves in Auric Enterprises would have initially increased had Bond not saved Fort Knox. There's a fundamental macroeconomic problem with what happens next. The Bretton Woods gold standard essentially allowed foreign governments to sell their gold to the U.S. Treasury at the fixed rate of $35 per ounce. Because the value of all the other gold in the world would have artificially increased had Goldfinger succeeded, the United States would have had trouble purchasing gold at the paltry $35 rate and suffered from initial recession and the severe inflation due to the almost worthless dollar. But here's where Goldfinger gets in trouble...

Because during the 1960s the United States was still a net exporter, the rest of the world would then begin to suffer from purchasing problems due to the low value of the U.S. Dollar but still high demand for U.S. goods. The U.S. would slowly catch up due to being able to unload lots of worthless dollars on the world economy. Auric Enterprises' own reserves would then begin to lose value due to the international economic slowdown, not to mention interest rates that would probably have hit historic lows. Because of low interest rates and the decreasing value of gold worldwide, the United States within just a few years would have been able to begin financing the purchase of gold again at $35/ounce. Almost certainly this would all happen within that 66 month time period. So, all Goldfinger would have done would have been to cause a slight economic hiccup for the West. Oh, and lets not forget how many "worthless" U.S. dollars would have been put in hock throughout the world to finance the Vietnam War, unloading even more of the junk on the world economy.

It's transparent flaws like this that absolutely ruin the Bond movies for me.

just so you know...

...I am still alive. Once upon a time this guy started litigating. Quickly, it consumed him. Partly because he loved it so much, and partly out of economic reality. And so his blog became a sad remnant of its glory days...

More to come soon, I promise...

say uncle

Olivia Marrie Whitten
7 lbs. 13.8 oz.

 

i'm hungry...for my childhood

Clearly the greatest cereal ever produced. Perfect to eat while watching Voltron. I used to wash it down with a game of Excitebike or a Transformers-Meets-G.I. Joe session.

 

fifty-eight sixteen

"Welcome to the Monkey House"
-Kurt Vonnegut

Entering the world of homeownership changes you. Yeah, you work a little harder and everything, but something fundamental happens. You start to care about things like grass, appliances, and plumbing. Where I used to make a phone call to the landlord when the dishwasher broke, now I have to fix it myself...er...I mean...wait around for the repair dude.

Still, it's nice. As the office's resident single guy, my house is now the last bastion of freedom for the married guys who want to play poker. Which is good, because the only piece of furniture I've purchased so far is a casino-style poker table.

Last week, I had the inaugural party at 5816. Good times, but I got made fun of...

Dr. J. - Hey, Matt, where are your cups?

Me - I haven't unpacked them yet.

Dr. J. - What am I supposed to drink out of?

Me - Just empty out a Coke can, rinse it out, and drink out of that.

(Laughter from all...directed at me)

Ster - Matt, where's your plates?

Me - They're in a box in the garage.

Ster - How am I supposed to eat this pizza?

Me - Eh, I have tile flooring and a dog, so don't worry about a plate.

(Derision...directed at me)

Willard - What's in that third bedroom?

Me - That's not my third bedroom. I call that the "hamper."

she seems to have an invisible touch

I stumbled upon my yearbook from first grade in a box the other day. How this happened is not a story worth relating, save to say there might have been a search for a working pen involved. The world hasn't changed much in twenty years:

(1) I still covet Transformers.
(2) Genesis is still a cool band. Especially the pre-Phil Collins era.
(3) Space shuttles.
(4) I still don't know how to subtract.
(5) One must still remain quiet when sitting in the circle.
(6) My hair remains disheveled.
(7) Ocean Pacific socks became Cole Haan shoes somehow.
(8) The Rangers remain in the cellar.
(9) The Rolling Stones are still old.
(10) I still have a crush on Mallory from Family Ties.

"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."
-Seneca (or, for those into pop culture, Semisonic)

no sugar tonight (in my coffee)

In between quashing subpoenas, I just booked my yearly trip here. I'll give you three guesses where it is.

"You know that I would be a liar,
If I was to say to you,
Girl we couldn't get much higher."
-Jim Morrison

everybody's working [on] the weekend*

Did anyone out there know that there's a 3:00 in the morning? Sometimes, your ox gets in a grind and you have to work late. Even on a Sunday. But I digress...

*Nominally at least, I dislike 80s music. Especially Loverboy. There's something pretentious about keytars. It's as though the guy who normally plays piano in the band wasn't satisfied with being stuck on the back of the stage with the drummer, so he came up with an instrument that would allow him to strut his stuff in spandex or zubaz pants with the rest of the hair band no-talents. But no matter how expensive or revolutionary the keytar might be, it still looks like a children's toy that blows bubbles out the end when you try and play it.