curling update...i still don't understand this sport

See the pictured curling stone, or "rock," in the parlance of our times.

Curling can best be described to the layman as shuffleboard on ice. But no person outside the curling community will ever understand the sport. This evening, the commentator made the most confusing remark I've ever heard...

"Wow. The skill level in curling has really advanced! These guys are just able to hit the corners of those rocks so much better than they could just a few years ago!"

To me, that rock does not appear to have "corners." Am I missing something obvious?

perception vs. reality

I am confident that nobody will argue with me that any seventy-two hour period filled with Salt Lick Barbecue, Magnolias, a hockey game, and and flagrantly procrastinative amounts of movie watching could be called anything but good.

What a weekend.

shouldn't those logos say "fjord" instead?

I will be glued to the curling competition as soon as it begins. To me, watching curling is like watching a mesmerizing campfire. I just can't look away. And any Olympic sport where Tom Smykowski from "Office Space" can participate is my kind of sport.

"F**k it dude, let's go bowling."
-John Goodman

I'm pretty sure the Coen brothers have already gotten the movie rights...

get me a new lower control arm, stat!

I await in fear and consternation as Revel Blue lay in the hospital bed a/k/a body shop floor on life support this evening. Poor Revel Blue, he never saw that scrappy little Camry coming. Little did he know yesterday morning as I shepherded him along the commute that an event would take place that would leave him gasping for life and quite possibly facing euthanasia by the good folks at State Farm.

That Camry ran a stop sign and I didn’t even see it in time to hit the brakes. A sense of guilt has enveloped me. Perhaps if I had been going a little slower. Perhaps if the sun hadn’t been shining in my eyes. No matter, all I can do is get past it and wait for a repair estimate or…gulp…the news that Blue will be put to sleep.

It’s hard to think about replacing Blue at this early stage, but I’m told by the doctor, i.e., body shop dude that it looks like it will be a close call between repair and total loss. So in the interest of having transportation, I have to think about moving on quickly. It has been nine years since I last drove a car proper. Since then, I have owned an SUV, a pickup, and now the ailing Wrangler. I bought Revel in 2004 because I had wanted a Jeep since I was a toddler. “Jeep” was one of my first words. So if I have to face replacement, I have a hard choice to make.

On the one hand, part of me would like to just go out and buy another blue Jeep. I could even call him Revel Blue II, in honor of Revel Blue’s own namesake, the beautiful Appaloosa Revel II. But Jeep ownership has its downsides, and to be honest I’d be open to a more practical vehicle.

So…gas prices what they are right now, a nice sedan might be in order. I really like those Honda Accord Hybrids a lot…hmmm. My first car was a Nissan Sentra, and the best cars my family has ever owned were all Nissans (the Sentra, a 240SX, and a Hardbody pickup that is 13 years old and still going strong), so maybe a Maxima is in order. Those Volvo S40s are pretty sharp too.

But like I said, I haven’t driven an actual car in years, and every time I get behind the wheel of one, I can’t get comfortable and I feel too low to the ground. So perhaps another SUV is in order. I used to have a Grand Cherokee, and without question that was the best all-around vehicle I’ve ever owned. Drove nice, looked good, plenty of space, and it towed a pretty good sized ski boat around several times. I’d like another one, but they’re really expensive compared to what my 1995 model cost way back when.

So I think if I had to pull the trigger right now, I suppose I would probably go with a Chevy Z71 Crew Cab. GM discounts those things like they’re going out of style, they have lots of room, and they get slightly better gas mileage than the Fords.

The problem with making decisions like this on such short notice is that I don’t really have time to evaluate everything the way I normally would. When I bought my last pickup, I spent weeks researching and shopping around. This time, I’m forced to find transportation in a matter of a few days. Making purchases like that on the fly is about as smart as invading a Middle Eastern country without doing any research either. Maybe even dumber.

Let's hope Blue is okay.

greatest things i've ever said, part one

Almost as bizarre as President Bush’s statement during the State of the Union hailing the “free” elections in Iran was the statement I had to make to a judge today just to get my point across...

So to summarize the argument counsel makes here today, I should nonsuit this case, go to the District Attorney, ask him to press charges against the defendant, wait for a conviction and appeal, and then come back and file the suit again.

That's not exactly what counsel had said, but the analogy was apt. I won the hearing.

in truth and fact

I’ll be traveling out of town for my first Continuing Legal Education seminar next weekend. The trip amounts to little more than an excuse to meet up with some friends from law school on Thursday night before our class on Friday. But the firm is still paying, so I’m not afraid to call it what it really is.

CLE for young lawyers strikes me as a little counter-intuitive. I just graduated from law school, then spent months studying for yet another exam. I’ve been licensed for a matter of months and already I have to sit through more class. And for what purpose? Well, this one happens to boil down to a crash course in how to keep from getting sued by clients. To put it less cynically, this one will be about ethics, professionalism, and client service.

It’s true that most law schools don’t provide much education in this area. I had a required ethics class, but for the most part it was a joke that covered the common-sense stuff like “don’t steal money from your clients” and “brush three times daily.”

So whatever. I’ll happily take some time away from the office to sit through the class, but only because my friends will be with me. And because it would be cool not to get sued.