i'm right and everybody else is wrong
For those of you who doubt that law school effectively destroys any neurons that remain after the procurement of an undergraduate diploma, what follows should persuade you otherwise. Today on the Third Floor, law students raised their voices at each other over the least decibel-worthy issue ever contrived by attorneydom: Whether "historical" should be preceded by the article "a" or the article "an."
After much argument, style manual consultation, and Googling, two heavyweights emerged. In the literary corner, on the side of the English language and sanity, was none other than Mark Twain. In the legal corner, on the side of truth, justice, and verbosity, was the great Judge Benjamin Cardozo.
Twain proffered an argument typical of his own genius, essentially saying, "Get over yourselves and use a historical you self-important nitwits." Cardozo weighed in with his own slice of wisdom, tendering his opinion that "If you don't use an historical you're part of the liberal theology of grammar and you'll end up living in a van down by the river."
The actual rule puts things a little more diplomatically: "Use a before words beginning with consonant sounds, including those spelled with an initial pronounced h. Use an before words that begin with vowel sounds, including those spelled with an initial silent h." My own style manual purports to settle the debate by using a historian as an example.
I'm afraid my style manual gets ahead of itself though with that example, because it doesn't account for regional differences. The debate today took place in West Texas. Lawyers did the debating. If a West Texas lawyer got up in front of a West Texas jury and actually enunciated the h in historical, he'd be laughed out of the courtroom. NASCAR fans hate Jeff Gordon for that very reason.
Not only that, but West Texans as a group hate anything liberal. If they found out they might be part of some liberal theology, even of the grammatical variety, they might run out and join up with the John Birch society just to feel secure in their Tony Lamas. And we don't need that.
Out of respect and an inability to admit when I'm wrong, I'll take Cardozo's side in this debate. Still doubt that law school kills brain cells?
After much argument, style manual consultation, and Googling, two heavyweights emerged. In the literary corner, on the side of the English language and sanity, was none other than Mark Twain. In the legal corner, on the side of truth, justice, and verbosity, was the great Judge Benjamin Cardozo.
Twain proffered an argument typical of his own genius, essentially saying, "Get over yourselves and use a historical you self-important nitwits." Cardozo weighed in with his own slice of wisdom, tendering his opinion that "If you don't use an historical you're part of the liberal theology of grammar and you'll end up living in a van down by the river."
The actual rule puts things a little more diplomatically: "Use a before words beginning with consonant sounds, including those spelled with an initial pronounced h. Use an before words that begin with vowel sounds, including those spelled with an initial silent h." My own style manual purports to settle the debate by using a historian as an example.
I'm afraid my style manual gets ahead of itself though with that example, because it doesn't account for regional differences. The debate today took place in West Texas. Lawyers did the debating. If a West Texas lawyer got up in front of a West Texas jury and actually enunciated the h in historical, he'd be laughed out of the courtroom. NASCAR fans hate Jeff Gordon for that very reason.
Not only that, but West Texans as a group hate anything liberal. If they found out they might be part of some liberal theology, even of the grammatical variety, they might run out and join up with the John Birch society just to feel secure in their Tony Lamas. And we don't need that.
Out of respect and an inability to admit when I'm wrong, I'll take Cardozo's side in this debate. Still doubt that law school kills brain cells?
posted by mjw at 4/21/2005 08:31:00 PM
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