all in, but don't ever call me again

Texas Hold ‘Em can only be described as the most frustrating invention for entertainment since the Scots decided to chase stationary pellets around a pasture with graphite sticks. Or maybe graphite came later. Whatever. With Hold ‘Em, one night I’m a hero. The next, I’m a zero.

Zero happened quickly tonight. After only fifteen minutes of tournament-style poker, no re-buys allowed, I had the hand. A Jack High Diamond Flush. I slow played my way through. I got that pot built up pretty good, and it came down to just the two of us. I went all in at the river. For sure that other player would drop out, right? Nope. The diamond ace was across the table from me, and just like that, my evening was finished. And now I sit here writing about it.

I had really hoped to take a little dough off my friends tonight. Not only do they deserve to have their money taken away, but they especially deserve to have it taken away by me. I’d put it to better use than they would. Revel Blue needs XM Radio, but they just have children to feed.

What is it that draws many of us to the most frustrating games and pastimes imaginable? Golf and poker, really, just scratch the tip of the iceberg. And I have a strong affection for both. I’d be a lot closer to my life goal of being the world’s third-best left-handed golfer if I just had a little more time. Some talent might help too. Either way, Mickelson and Weir better watch out once I take my Jordan-esque temporary retirement from law to try my hand at a different kind of bloodsport.

I have to admit though that great chasm exists between golf and poker. With poker, at least you’re not gambling.