i think i'll let my subscription to this theory lapse

I learned this weekend what color I am. I've been having an identity crisis about it for some time now - my immense street cred and Irish blood having duked it out for some time.

But more to the point, I learned what color my personality has designs on being. My own id/ego/superego, apparently, is Gold. Without boring kind reader of blog with details, having a Gold personality is essentially akin to being a loner despot bent on world domination. So I've got that going for me.

The other personality colors, according to theory, are:

Blue: This was my second-highest score on the personality test. In short, Blues are sensitive doormats.

Green: Kermit the Frog is apparently an over-analytical Cliff Claven-type. Which explains why it ain't easy being green.

Orange: Orange personalities have a zest for living. They also like to do crazy things. Which is why they fill up prisons.

All of my scores on were bunched close together. When I asked the counselor who administered the test whether this meant I was crazy, strange, or just lacking in personality of any kind, she responded that I was living in the personality "nexus."

Star Trek allusions aside, being in the nexus is a good thing. It means you're "balanced." The theory holds that Jesus lived in the nexus. Nobody has ever accused me of being balanced, so I'll take that for what its worth. All I know is this: I'll just be myself and let the God complex work itself out. After you peons all fetch me a cup of coffee, that is...