it's a struggle living like a good boy oughta
Living on my own for the first time has taught me a thing or two about myself. I already knew I was a clean freak. What I didn't know, among other things, is just how hard it is to be a clean freak when you're putting in the hours required of a professional and you don't have a roommate to contribute. So I've ended up living in what I'd consider a sty. Rational people would probably just say it's in need of 45 minutes of light housework. Whatever. Rational people are wrong.
It's not that I've lost my desire for cleanliness. I'm just internally conflicted. It's as if I have two little guys hanging out on my shoulders: One wearing a white robe and holding a tub of OxyClean, and one wearing a red lycra jumpsuit and cape and holding a bowl of tomato soup. A bowl of tomato soup that he just spilled on the floor. And told me not to clean up until the next evening.
The little guy in the white robe gets upset at stuff like that. What if I didn't use that coaster? He's always chiding me saying, "well, I suppose we just can't have nice things around here, can we?" Whatever, he shouldn't be wearing white if he's going to take that tone with me. Maybe beige.
Other lessons in self have come to the forefront while living in my new apartment:
(1) I miss my trips to Home Depot. In an apartment, all I get to do is call the manager when something breaks. That's boring.
(2) I like the fact that nobody makes me rinse the dishes before I put them in the dishwasher.
(3) Having company over is a lot more stressful when you live by yourself. You have nowhere to hide. You can't hedge with "Umm, yeah, all those really dorky Star Trek tapes are my roommate's," or "Yeah, I don't know why my roommate has three Audrey Hepburn posters."
(4) Absolute authority over the TV Remote, HVAC, and mail is freaking awesome.
(5) Why am I the only person in my building who doesn't have a Welcome/Howdy!/Back Off! mat at my door? I have decided that the foregoing question may hold the key to some weird philosophical problem I have with dragon grass. Or it could be that I just don't care to spend the money on one. I thought about buying one when I was at Bed, Bath & Beyond Christmas shopping a few weeks ago. But I was Christmas shopping, and it would have felt weird to buy something for myself. So I didn't.
(6) I do not have to keep yellow mustard in my house. That means independence.
It's not that I've lost my desire for cleanliness. I'm just internally conflicted. It's as if I have two little guys hanging out on my shoulders: One wearing a white robe and holding a tub of OxyClean, and one wearing a red lycra jumpsuit and cape and holding a bowl of tomato soup. A bowl of tomato soup that he just spilled on the floor. And told me not to clean up until the next evening.
The little guy in the white robe gets upset at stuff like that. What if I didn't use that coaster? He's always chiding me saying, "well, I suppose we just can't have nice things around here, can we?" Whatever, he shouldn't be wearing white if he's going to take that tone with me. Maybe beige.
Other lessons in self have come to the forefront while living in my new apartment:
(1) I miss my trips to Home Depot. In an apartment, all I get to do is call the manager when something breaks. That's boring.
(2) I like the fact that nobody makes me rinse the dishes before I put them in the dishwasher.
(3) Having company over is a lot more stressful when you live by yourself. You have nowhere to hide. You can't hedge with "Umm, yeah, all those really dorky Star Trek tapes are my roommate's," or "Yeah, I don't know why my roommate has three Audrey Hepburn posters."
(4) Absolute authority over the TV Remote, HVAC, and mail is freaking awesome.
(5) Why am I the only person in my building who doesn't have a Welcome/Howdy!/Back Off! mat at my door? I have decided that the foregoing question may hold the key to some weird philosophical problem I have with dragon grass. Or it could be that I just don't care to spend the money on one. I thought about buying one when I was at Bed, Bath & Beyond Christmas shopping a few weeks ago. But I was Christmas shopping, and it would have felt weird to buy something for myself. So I didn't.
(6) I do not have to keep yellow mustard in my house. That means independence.
posted by mjw at 1/12/2006 07:29:00 PM
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