milk drinkers are turning to powder

Years ago, when I wanted a career in a field held in high regard for its professional standards, I naïvely thought I might try out journalism. As part of that immature and ill-informed phase I participated in University Interscholastic League competitions in headline writing. Nerdery, yes, but those competitions began my lifelong love affair with well-written headlines, and a pet-peeve bordering on obsession with sorry ones.

Contemplate for a moment the following journalistic slice, seen late last evening:

NYC's celebrity hawks shunned by stork

My caffeiene-addled brain seized up at the sight of that. Have paparazzi couples suddenly become barren? Have professional skateboarders been disinvited to feathered weddings? I had to know what was going on, so I clicked the link.

As it turns out, last winter the Audubon Society took up the cause of two urban-dwelling red hawks. Two red hawks that haven't reproduced as yet. So the headline makes sense, but only in a roundabout, moronic sort of way.

It got my attention.